Vote Random

You could write what I know about politics on the back of a postage stamp. One of my good friends is a Labour Councillor in Leeds, she's tried to educate me but I'm afraid it's in one ear and out of the other. I do occasionally manage to switch over from CBeebies to catch the evening news. This equips me with enough information to avoid embarrassing myself at dinner parties (yeah, like I go to dinner parties where people talk about politics). I’ve learnt the names of a few world leaders, I know who the Chancellor of the Exchequer is and that a lot of British MPs are embroiled in an expenses scandal but that’s about it. Now in light of the latter and because we’re leading up to that European election thingymajig, I have noticed that over the last couple of weeks there has been a succession of party political broadcasts following news bulletins, by a selection of really random political groups that I’ve never heard of before.

An example of some of these parties are The Grump Old Men Party, Mums’ Army, Common Sense Party, Fancy Dress Party (seriously, they’ve got my vote), The Had Enough Party, The Idle Toad Party and The Miss Great Britain Party.


Here are some of their emblems
It would seem that virtually anyone can register a political party which got me and my husband thinking. I’ve decided that I am going to lead the ‘Random’ party. I’ve been working on my manifesto which includes the following:

Government research in to lowering the number of calories in chocolate whilst retaining the same great taste.

Free anti-wrinkle cream for the over 30s.

To triple the number of parent and child spaces at supermarkets.

To sanction the use of cones on British roads.

To hang, draw and quarter people who don’t clean up their dogs mess.

Harsher penalties for queue jumpers.

Banning shopmobility scooters, I’m hard line on this as I was run over by one once.

And finally I want to pass a bill that prevents pensioners from chatting to the cashier at the Post Office.

I'm thinking about using this as my emblem

Like most politicians I'm not sure yet how I am going to fulfill my promises. My husband is also taking this very seriously and is calling his party the 'back to mine for a yes you’ve guessed it…party'.

If you have anything that you would like to be included in the manifesto please let me know before I submit it to the electoral commission.