Going undercover and the Twitter birdy, help me I'm a technophobe!

I Googled myself yesterday (we’ve all done it!) and was horrified to discover that if I type in my real name my blog comes up on the first page. I guess it must be because I have quite an unusual surname. I foolishly signed up for Twitter and Copyright giving my true identity and although I have now rectified this and am using my alias, try telling Google that. My dad (who knows everything) assures me that these sites are crawled regularly and search engines are updated, so long term I’ve nothing to worry about. I don’t understand all this stuff about cached pages and back links, all I know is that I want it to go away.

Clearly I don’t write anything very exciting or controversial but never the less I would hate to think that any old Tom, Dick or Harry could find my page. The world is full of weirdoes and unfortunately I used to go out with some of them. I have only chosen to given the web address to a few carefully selected friends and family. The more people that know about it the less candid I can be.

As a result I spent a good deal of yesterday in a flap, faffing about trying to resolve this situation. First of all I decided to'go undercover' and move web address. Then I realised that this would be like starting all over again. No one would know where I’d gone and there would be no one to comment on my posts. I love receiving comments, so I moved back to my original location. In the meantime my dad noticed that I had moved and teased me that he was going to take my old web address and cyber squat. Can you imagine how distraught I would have been then?

Having returned my page to its original location I decided that I wanted that little birdy flying a banner as my Twitter widget rather than it displaying a list of updates (other Twitter users will know what I’m talking about). I spent over an hour last night on the settings section of Twitter and I still can’t find where it is. Can somebody please help me? I’m such an amazing technophobe and struggle to do the simplest thing. Laura tries to assist me but she only gives me very basic instructions. You must know by now that I am a fool, I need to know what to do in depth. It’s so frustrating; the laptop has virtually morphed into one of my limbs.

To save my marriage and relationship with my children I am putting the computer away this weekend and taking a little break for a few days. On Monday we’re going to Manchester to see the Kings of Leon and I have some time off work. On my return I hope to have some tales to tell.

Adios!